Why is it Harder to Be Happy as We Grow Up

Why is it Harder to Be Happy as We Grow Up?

Why does happiness become elusive as we age? Uncover the key reasons and learn how to reclaim joy in your life.

8 mins read

As we grow up, life gets more tangled, and happiness can seem harder to catch. In childhood, joy feels easy, like catching sunlight in your hands. But as we become adults, things get more complicated.

Gone are the carefree days. We face new challenges—jobs, money, relationships—that can overshadow our happiness. It’s like trying to find a hidden treasure in a sea of troubles.

But don’t lose hope. Happiness isn’t just a far-off dream. It’s a journey—a journey of discovering who we are, staying strong, and being true to ourselves.

In this journey, we’ll explore why happiness feels tougher as we grow. From facing more responsibilities to feeling the weight of what others expect from us, we’ll dig into the reasons why adulthood can feel like a maze.

So, let’s dive in and uncover the secrets to finding happiness in the midst of life’s ups and downs. It’s a journey worth taking, and the happiness waiting at the end makes every step worth it.

 

Increased Responsibilities 

With adulthood comes a slew of new responsibilities, from managing finances and maintaining a job to taking care of household chores and potentially caring for a family. The weight of these obligations can be overwhelming, leaving little time and energy for leisure activities or pursuits that bring us joy. The constant juggling act of meeting deadlines, paying bills, and fulfilling commitments can create stress and drain our mental and emotional resources, making it harder to find moments of happiness amidst the chaos.
Take the case of Maya, a recent college graduate who lands her dream job in a bustling city. Excited to embark on her career, Maya quickly finds herself overwhelmed by the demands of her new role—long hours, tight deadlines, and mounting responsibilities. Despite her initial enthusiasm, Maya struggles to find time for activities she once enjoyed, like painting and hiking. Caught in the whirlwind of adult life, she longs for moments of joy and relaxation but finds them increasingly elusive amidst her hectic schedule.

Higher Expectations Complex Relationships

As we grow older, we often internalize societal norms and expectations about what it means to be successful and happy. Whether it’s achieving certain career milestones, owning a home, or starting a family, we may feel pressure to meet these benchmarks by a certain age. When we fall short of these expectations or encounter setbacks along the way, it can lead to feelings of failure, disappointment, or inadequacy, making happiness feel elusive.
Consider Alex, a young professional navigating the competitive world of corporate finance. Raised in a family that prioritized academic and professional success, Alex feels immense pressure to climb the corporate ladder and achieve financial stability. However, despite his achievements, he can’t shake the nagging feeling that he’s falling short of the lofty expectations set by his parents and peers. Each promotion brings temporary satisfaction, quickly overshadowed by the looming question: “Is this enough?”

Complex Relationships 

Adult relationships can be complex and fraught with challenges. We may experience conflicts, disagreements, or betrayals in our interactions with friends, romantic partners, or family members. Navigating these dynamics requires patience, communication, and compromise, and the strain of rocky relationships can take a toll on our happiness and well-being. Additionally, the loss of relationships or the end of friendships can be particularly painful and can contribute to feelings of loneliness or isolation.
Meet Sarah and Jack, a couple navigating the complexities of a long-term relationship. Despite their love for each other, Sarah and Jack find themselves caught in a cycle of arguments and misunderstandings. Unresolved conflicts and unmet expectations strain their relationship, leaving them feeling disconnected and unhappy. As they struggle to communicate effectively and address underlying issues, they wonder if their relationship can weather the storm or if it’s time to part ways.

Loss of Innocence

As we grow older, we become more aware of life’s harsh realities and uncertainties. We may experience setbacks, failures, or disappointments that we didn’t encounter as children, shattering our illusions of a perfect world. This loss of innocence can be disheartening and can challenge our ability to maintain a positive outlook on life. We may become more cynical or pessimistic, viewing the world through a lens of disillusionment rather than wonder.
Recall the story of Adam, who grew up with a naive belief in the inherent goodness of the world. However, as he matures and encounters life’s challenges—a layoff at work, a betrayal by a close friend—he begins to question his idealistic views. Each disappointment chips away at Adam’s optimism, leaving him feeling disillusioned and uncertain about his place in the world. Gone are the days of innocence, replaced by a sense of guarded skepticism.

Comparisons and Competition 

 In today’s digital age, it’s easier than ever to compare ourselves to others and feel like we’re falling short. Social media platforms showcase curated glimpses into the lives of others, often presenting an idealized version of reality that can breed feelings of inadequacy or envy. Constantly measuring ourselves against others can erode our self-esteem and diminish our sense of self-worth, making it harder to feel happy with our own lives.
Imagine Emily, a young woman scrolling through her social media feed, bombarded by images of friends traveling the world, landing dream jobs, and seemingly living their best lives. Despite her own achievements and blessings, Emily can’t help but feel envious and inadequate in comparison. She questions her worth and accomplishments, wondering if she’ll ever measure up to the polished personas presented online.

Less Time for Self-Care 

With busy schedules and competing priorities, self-care often takes a backseat to other obligations. We may neglect our own needs in favor of work, family responsibilities, or social commitments, leaving little time for activities that replenish our energy and bring us joy. Over time, this neglect can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and a diminished capacity for finding happiness in our day-to-day lives.
Picture David, a devoted husband and father juggling a demanding job and family responsibilities. Between long hours at the office and shuttling his kids to extracurricular activities, David barely has a moment to himself. Neglecting his own needs, David sacrifices sleep and leisure time in favor of meeting the needs of others. Exhausted and overwhelmed, he struggles to find joy and fulfillment amidst the relentless demands of daily life.

Dealing with Loss and Grief 

As we navigate adulthood, we inevitably encounter loss and grief in various forms. Whether it’s the death of loved ones, the end of relationships, or the loss of opportunities, coping with these experiences can be emotionally taxing. Grieving takes time and energy, and the process can disrupt our sense of stability and well-being. It’s natural to feel sadness, anger, or despair in the face of loss, and these emotions can make it challenging to find happiness amidst the pain.
Consider Jenna, who recently lost her mother after a long battle with cancer. Overwhelmed by grief, Jenna struggles to cope with the void left by her mother’s passing. Despite the support of friends and family, Jenna feels lost and adrift, grappling with feelings of sadness, anger, and despair. The weight of her loss makes it difficult for Jenna to find moments of happiness amidst the pain of her grief.

How do we Cure this?

By understanding these underlying factors that contribute to the difficulty of finding happiness as we grow up, we can begin to address them and take proactive steps to cultivate greater well-being and fulfillment in our lives.
  1. Identify Areas of Struggle: Take the time to reflect on different aspects of your life where you may be experiencing challenges in finding happiness. These could include your career, relationships, personal health and well-being, hobbies and interests, or even your overall outlook on life. By pinpointing specific areas where you feel dissatisfied or unfulfilled, you can better understand the root causes of your unhappiness and begin to formulate strategies for improvement.
  2. Set Clear Goals: Once you’ve identified the areas of your life that you’d like to work on, it’s important to set clear, actionable goals to address them. Break down your broader aspirations into smaller, more manageable steps that you can take to move closer to your desired outcome. For example, if you’re unhappy with your current job, your goals might include updating your resume, networking with professionals in your field, and applying for new opportunities.
  3. Prioritize Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your daily routine by scheduling time for activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This could involve regular exercise, getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for maintaining your overall health and happiness.
  4. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to the thoughts and beliefs that may be contributing to your unhappiness, and challenge them with more positive and realistic alternatives. For example, if you find yourself constantly criticizing your appearance, try reframing those negative thoughts with affirmations of self-love and acceptance. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude and optimism can help shift your perspective and improve your overall outlook on life.
  5. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family members, or mental health professionals if you’re struggling to find happiness on your own. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others can provide you with valuable insights, perspective, and emotional support. Therapy or counseling can also be incredibly beneficial for exploring deeper issues and developing coping strategies for managing stress, anxiety, or depression.
  6. Set Boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries in your relationships and commitments to protect your time, energy, and well-being. This may involve saying no to activities or obligations that drain you or cause you undue stress, and prioritizing activities that align with your values and priorities. Setting boundaries can help you create space for the things that truly matter to you and prevent burnout and resentment.
  7. Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily life to help you stay grounded in the present moment and cultivate a greater sense of inner peace and clarity. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or mindful movement can help you manage stress and anxiety, improve your focus and concentration, and enhance your overall sense of well-being.
  8. Foster Meaningful Connections: Invest time and effort into nurturing your relationships with friends, family members, and loved ones. Make an effort to spend quality time together, engage in meaningful conversations, and express your appreciation and affection for one another. Strong social connections are essential for our mental and emotional health, and they can provide us with a sense of belonging, support, and fulfillment.
  9. Celebrate Small Wins: Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements and milestones, no matter how small they may seem. Recognize the progress you’ve made towards your goals and give yourself credit for your efforts and accomplishments. Celebrating your successes can boost your confidence and motivation, and reinforce your belief in your ability to create positive change in your life.
  10. Embrace Imperfection: Let go of the pressure to be perfect and embrace your flaws and imperfections as an essential part of being human. Accept that life is messy and unpredictable, and that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them along the way. Embracing imperfection can free you from the unrealistic expectations and standards that may be holding you back from experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.
  11. Practice Forgiveness: Release yourself from the burden of past resentments and grievances by practicing forgiveness towards yourself and others. Holding onto anger, bitterness, or resentment only serves to weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward. Choose to let go of negative emotions and forgive those who have wronged you, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace and healing.
  12. Stay Flexible: Remain open-minded and adaptable in the face of life’s challenges and uncertainties. Understand that change is inevitable, and that your goals and priorities may shift over time. Stay flexible and willing to adjust your plans and expectations as needed, and embrace the opportunities for growth and discovery that come with life’s twists and turns.

Bottom Line

In life’s big adventure, finding happiness is like going on a journey full of twists and turns. But even when things get tough, there’s always hope. We can take steps to make happiness more reachable, like taking care of ourselves, being kind to others, and not letting negative thoughts bring us down.

As we wrap up, remember that happiness isn’t just something we find at the end of the road—it’s something we can create every day. So, let’s keep walking, keep learning, and keep smiling, knowing that every step brings us closer to the happiness we’re looking for.

Started of her career with Audit in the Big four Audit firm, and currently focusing in Planning and Reporting. After she became a part-time freelance writer in 2021, her work has been published on websites such as Life Hack Solution.

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