Motherhood is a beautiful journey gifted to some women. Throughout history, women have assumed the role of the caretaker of a family and men were usually the breadwinner. Until today women are known for having maternal instincts, to be strong and resilient in the face of adversity. Mothers are known to make sacrifices for their family, especially when it comes to the needs of their offspring’s.
In modern society, a woman is recognized as a unique individual with capabilities to contribute to society with their abilities. Long gone are the constraints for a woman to only live and serve their family. As exciting and progressive as it sounds, a woman faces another set of challenges to test their limits as a regular citizen and a mother.
A Mother with a Corporate Job
Here is Rachael, a mother working in a corporate setting for 15 years with a daughter:
“It is hard to say if a woman can be both(a good mum and a career woman) at the same time without any help. My parents and in-laws were very involved in taking care of my daughter, especially when she was a toddler. Both my husband and I work so having support from family was very important to us. I got to focus on my job during the day but I will spend my evenings and weekends with her(my daughter). I don’t think the negative effects of working mothers on family is significant enough for me to stop working. Hence, here I am.”
A Mother Turned Business Owner
Here is what Nadia, a home bakery owner with 3 children, thinks:
“After giving birth to my second child, I went to work feeling uneasy and couldn’t help thinking about my kids. Back then I had a 9-5 corporate job that required me to be in the office. It was very difficult and I opted to quit to raise my kids. My husband was supportive about the decision at the time. However I still wanted a career for myself so I started my home based bakery. I must admit it is extremely tiring to be in my position but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Balancing both a career and responsibilities as a mother is a lot easier when your career allows you to be flexible and physically near your kids. A working mother would probably understand the need to pursue both a career and motherhood. As my friends call it, work-life integration. It may not be for everyone but I enjoy what I do right now.”
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A Teacher As Well As Single Mother
Marianne is an active 67 year old retiree who still teaches for the joy of it. She was a single mother in the 30s and here is what she thinks.
“Can a woman have a career and a family? After my husband passed, I suddenly became a single mother. I have 2 kids and I am their only parent and sole breadwinner. Saying that it was difficult raising 2 kids alone was an understatement. I was a teacher so I didn’t earn much but my dear children were the sweetest and the most understanding kids on earth. They learnt to be independent early on and it helped me focus on putting food on the table. As a woman who made it through this phase of life, I think it is possible to do both at the same time. As long as I know my children will be kind, well fed and educated, I feel all the sacrifices are worth it. I think for my case, I had no choice but to be a working mother. However, I enjoyed my job and I can’t complain.”
A Doctor Raising 4 Children
Ashweena is a medical professional who works in a hospital full time with 4 kids.
“I think motherhood and having a career is more than a matter of balance, it is a choice. A woman can do both when we prioritize the right thing at the right time. I am a doctor with 4 kids. I usually send them to school and my husband helps to pick them up during his lunch break. Both of us decided to hire a nanny to keep an eye on them after school. My husband spends more time with the kids and sometimes I do feel like I’m missing out. Honestly it can be very challenging when your patient and kid need you to be there at the same time. I am fortunate to have some understanding colleagues and a very helpful husband for times like this. A few shots of espresso throughout the day helps too!”
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An Ex-employee, A Mother Who Left The Workforce
Let’s hear the opinions of Ling (name replaced to respect privacy), a stay at home mother with 3 children. Some would argue that being a housewife isn’t a real job but I’m sure all parents would beg to differ!
“Honestly any parent can choose parenthood full time if the partner is earning enough to support the family. My husband is in a company that pays him well with housing and schooling benefits for the children. It is more logical in my case to stay at home full time rather than being a working mother. I wanted to look after my kids more than working because we are financially safe. Of course, I recognize that I am very privileged to have this choice but I will take what life gives. I am very grateful. I really respect people who can juggle having a career and being a parent.”
So Is Pursuing A Career Worth it?
All these women are in very different stages in their lives and have different opinions of the topic. However, one thing they had in common was that they care a lot about their children. Many would argue: “Hey if you love your kids so much, you should stay at home and look after them.” The answer to that is subjective to every woman.
Why would a mother want to be away from their child? The separation anxiety must be difficult to overcome. However in the case of most women, the purpose of having a career is not only to improve their finances but also for personal development.
Mothers who have careers are proud to be able to show up as a capable person. With every challenge posed to them, they get more matured and resilient. Mothers want their kids to look up to them and be proud of their achievements.
Having a career is important for self esteem. A working mother with a career is more likely to be sure of herself and her abilities to make a living. She may miss a ballet concert or a baseball match, but one day her disappointed children will understand why their mom made that choice.
Tips to Juggle Both Roles
Plan ahead, sit down once in 2 weeks to plan out the schedule of your family. Clear and healthy communication is key to reducing unwanted surprises in schedule. You can allocate tasks to everyone at home, you don’t have to carry out every chore. If you’re financially capable, hiring help can definitely reduce your burdens. What is money for if not to bring comfort to you and your family right?
Remember to schedule rest days for yourself where you make time and space for your own passions. Take a day off for an all girls trip to hike in the country, or go to the beach with your friends from your yoga club! Furthermore, always be kind to yourself, after all, you’re doing your best! If you’d like to get more tips on balancing both roles, you should read here.
When things get overwhelming, you could talk to your friends or a therapist. Try to keep your mental state in check. This journey does not have to be overly burdensome. If you surround yourself with mothers in a similar phase in life, perhaps you won’t feel as lonely. For the latest members of the working mothers club, here’s a guide to help you transition into this journey.
Final Remarks
Being a working mother is a choice one must make for themselves and their family. Having the ability to balance both roles is a skill one can develop as they grow. A woman should never shy away from asking for help or support when they feel overwhelmed. You should cut yourself some slack, after all the hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world.
